Out of control

Where do I start? I come from a place where the women assume that thier men will cheat on them or as we say back a yard. We assume that the man is going to have another woman with you. This belief is what made me adamant about not getting married until I was much older. Once I left Jamaica, I realized that the level of acceptance that some have regarding infildelity is not held by all. Because I essentially matured into womanhood in the United States, I have a very definite take on what is acceptable behavior within the confines of a union. It's one thing to have another woman when you are dating someone, it's quite another thing to exhibit this type of behavior once you have made a commitment (both legal and spiritual) to be with someone.

This weekend I learned of one friend who was going through some infidelity issues and then in conversing with some other people found out about some other indiscretions of my friends that I hadn't known about. I realize that this issue is reaching almost epidemic proportions. Now, I'm not claiming to be the most sanctimonious individual around, but hey this is getting out of control. I decided to go online to see what kind of support systems and websites are out there to help with this sort of thing and I found the following: survivinginfidelity.com, surviveanaffair.com, savingmymarriagenow.com, my-cheating-husband.com, lie-detections.com, cataspousecheating.com, savethemarriage.com and break-free-from-the affair.com

I guess that I should be happy that there is help for both the cheater and the cheatee out there. My only question is this...how the hell do you let this happen to yourself? At what point does it become okay for you to get naked and get in bed with someone who you know is pleged to somebody else. It takes two people to cheat and if one decides not to then maybe we could get a handle on this situation.

I've been cheated on and I can't say that I particularly care for the experience. My philosophy is this. If you are no longer happy with me and have found someone else who makes you happy, then don't lie to me about what we have. Pack your stuff and go to be with the person who makes you happy, I don't have the right to make you miserable. In the same vein, if you want me but find that you want somebody else at the same time,